The television presenter and chat-show host Graham Norton has become the new secretary-general of the United Nations.
The appointment comes soon after the loquacious Irishman was chosen as the BBC’s new commentator for the Eurovision Song Contest, replacing Terry Wogan. Norton believes the two roles are closely linked – ‘the UN is probably seen as a natural accompaniment to Eurovision,’ he said. ‘After all, they both make a song and dance about things but neither can be taken very seriously.’
Norton made his inaugural address to the UN General Assembly in a fabulous gold lamé jacket. To warm applause he declared that the UN has an image problem deriving from ‘dreary colours’, and suggested the traditional blue of UN peacekeepers’ helmets should be replaced by ‘magenta, or perhaps tangerine’.
Although some commentators have expressed concern at Norton’s lack of diplomatic experience, many believe his cheerfully camp banter and mild sexual innuendoes will be vital tools in resolving international conflicts.
Norton himself is certainly upbeat about the task ahead. ‘I’ve had frank, emotional conversations about relationship problems with the likes of Cher and Dido, so the Israeli-Palestinian thing shouldn’t be too hard,’ he said. ‘Let’s face it, there’s no dispute that can’t be solved by a good old chinwag.’
Journalists at Norton’s first press conference suggested his appointment reflects the elevation of celebrity above serious politics, but he soon won them over with some playful double-entendres. There were chuckles when he said the main quality he would bring to the role of secretary-general was ‘gaiety’, then uproarious laughter as he claimed the true reason for his appointment had to do with the furniture in the UN debating chamber: ‘The diplomats were fed up with those hard seats – they all asked for a nice little pouffe instead!’
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